Funny Memes, Headlines, and Bad Jokes Thread - 2024 Edition

Someone please name their next TRIP REPORT “Royal Flush Tour 2024” !!!!!

 

4 Husbands

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
(Wait for it)
She smiled and explained,
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

 

{blush}

 

I’ll take it toasted!

RICHARD

 

I was going to “water down” a similar joke, but that would be gruel and unusual punishment!

RICHARD

 

Where is that GROAN emoticon?

 

Nihilist Valentines Sentiments